Another birthday...

Last night I was simply walking down the hall and had the thought "tomorrow is my birthday"... immediately I started crying.  There's a lot going on right now... and emotionally... I was tired.  I've cried so much over the past several days that my face now burns immediately when tears touch my cheeks, and let's not talk about how my eyes have been feeling  :/

I took my tears to my room and started listening to a song that my friend suggested.  Then I started sobbing... I had asked Jesus to just please comfort me... and he is always happy to comply with a request like that... so I was just crying with Jesus and telling him how I felt.  Seriously guys... there is a lot going on in my life right now - I think a lot of us are in that place.  I have really been asking God to help me as I process through these things... because, for real, I have no idea how to walk through them... so anyway...

...in the middle of the next song - it's like I almost heard an audible whisper in my ear.  God... being the good daddy that he is... just whispered in my ear "if you could see what I see... you would be laughing right now instead of crying".  Just a whisper, that's all.  And in a moment... I was laughing.  Laughing and still crying... and then just laughing.  It's like, in that moment, he just filled me with so much joy. 

Then this morning I was talking to God - I've shared a bit of how I used to really dislike my birthday and I was repenting for the times I have cursed the day of my birth and thanking him for my life, my freedom, his love... a short while after that God started talking to me about my age.  I am 37 today and God was asking me what numbers can divide into 37.  I was like... none, it's a prime number.  So that rolled around in my head a little and I asked why did he point that out... He said just like 37 is a unique number to itself... that it can't be divided by other numbers... this is a unique year for me.  That unique things will happen this year like no other year before. 

I love getting a prophetic word from someone... but I really love getting a word directly from God, and that's a good word!  :)

This has been such a special day... and I have great expectations for the year to come.  I don't know what the next year will bring... it could bring more struggles, it could bring new levels of joy... but the one thing I do know is that I can trust God will be with me through all of it.

It's gonna be a good year y'all!