Today on Facebook I saw an image that a friend shared. It was a picture of some verses from Mark 9 and one verse in particular was highlighted.
Mark 9:23 - "What do you mean, 'If I can'?" Jesus asked. "Anything is possible if a person believes."
Yes...it is part of a larger story, but seeing just that portion highlighted really made it stick in my mind. This is the New Living Translation and the way that it's phrased "What do you mean 'If I can'?" is pretty clear.
My birthday just passed and my mind has been full of thoughts about where my life is right now...and where I thought my life would be by now. Reality doesn't really meet up with my expectations and sometimes that leaves me feeling less than thankful.
I have been facing some lies that are still rooted in my thoughts lately, and one of those lies is that God either cannot or will not help me in certain areas. I feel like I have been walking down a rather long path of healing - to be fair it's been many, many years - and I realized that I have this lie in my mind that says that God can't heal some things. Another lie is that God doesn't want to fulfill the desires of my heart because he doesn't really want me to be happy.
Reading this verse makes me think of all those lies that say that certain things are not possible. The words "What do you mean 'If I can'?" keep swirling around in my head and I keep seeing one "issue" after another that this applies to. I am not a quitter...I don't give up...but I am seeing areas where I have built some walls around some of my greatest desires because, somewhere, I believe that it's impossible.
I do honestly believe in my heart that God has an amazing plan for my life; he has saved me from some pretty impossible situations, and I know he has a purpose in that. I also believe that as long as I am following him...walking out his plan for my life...I will be filled with joy no matter where I am. Having said all that...it's hard sometimes, trusting in God for something that seems unlikely, or even impossible. Thankfully times of peace and comfort easily outweigh the hard times.
My love for God is not based on him providing me with the things that I want or even the things that I feel like I need. And even if I am still writing this same blog post in five years...my love for God will not be diminished because of it.
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Sunday, January 11, 2015
So it's my birthday...
Today is my birthday. I have had such a wonderful day, completely filled with friends loving on me and spending time with me. (Quality time is for sure one of my main love languages)
During this day...I have been filled with joy and thankfulness. But...my birthday used to be one my least favorite days of the year. I used to dread birthdays and the time leading up to my birthday is still a painful time for me.
But today...as I thanked God for the fact that I am alive...I actually thanked him for the fact that I was born. I have never in my life expressed gratitude for that - and today those words just came out when I was thanking God for this day.
In the past, I routinely questioned God's judgement in regards to my birth. I believed that God had either made a mistake, or had nothing to do with my creation at all. I used to say that I wished I had never been born...that I hadn't lived. And today for the first time I actually thanked God that I was born.
My life used to mean nothing to me...I wanted to throw it away. I had chosen to end my life at one point because I was tired of the pain that I lived in every day. I believed that my life had no value or worth and birthdays only served to remind me that...had I never been born, I wouldn't have had to live with the memory of so many painful experiences.
So...I just wanted to take a few minutes to share the fact that my life has been drastically changed...to the point that I am so thankful that I am still alive. Thankful that God saved me...thankful that I was born!!! God can redeem anything, even the most unfair things. He can heal the deepest wounds and make what seems like a worthless life into something amazing and wonderful. Because of what God has done in my life, I know that he is capable of all things. He can bring life where there is death, and turn the darkness to light!
I am thankful that God created me, that he saved me...and that he LOVES me!
During this day...I have been filled with joy and thankfulness. But...my birthday used to be one my least favorite days of the year. I used to dread birthdays and the time leading up to my birthday is still a painful time for me.
But today...as I thanked God for the fact that I am alive...I actually thanked him for the fact that I was born. I have never in my life expressed gratitude for that - and today those words just came out when I was thanking God for this day.
In the past, I routinely questioned God's judgement in regards to my birth. I believed that God had either made a mistake, or had nothing to do with my creation at all. I used to say that I wished I had never been born...that I hadn't lived. And today for the first time I actually thanked God that I was born.
My life used to mean nothing to me...I wanted to throw it away. I had chosen to end my life at one point because I was tired of the pain that I lived in every day. I believed that my life had no value or worth and birthdays only served to remind me that...had I never been born, I wouldn't have had to live with the memory of so many painful experiences.
So...I just wanted to take a few minutes to share the fact that my life has been drastically changed...to the point that I am so thankful that I am still alive. Thankful that God saved me...thankful that I was born!!! God can redeem anything, even the most unfair things. He can heal the deepest wounds and make what seems like a worthless life into something amazing and wonderful. Because of what God has done in my life, I know that he is capable of all things. He can bring life where there is death, and turn the darkness to light!
I am thankful that God created me, that he saved me...and that he LOVES me!
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