Today is my birthday. I have had such a wonderful day, completely filled with friends loving on me and spending time with me. (Quality time is for sure one of my main love languages)
During this day...I have been filled with joy and thankfulness. But...my birthday used to be one my least favorite days of the year. I used to dread birthdays and the time leading up to my birthday is still a painful time for me.
But today...as I thanked God for the fact that I am alive...I actually thanked him for the fact that I was born. I have never in my life expressed gratitude for that - and today those words just came out when I was thanking God for this day.
In the past, I routinely questioned God's judgement in regards to my birth. I believed that God had either made a mistake, or had nothing to do with my creation at all. I used to say that I wished I had never been born...that I hadn't lived. And today for the first time I actually thanked God that I was born.
My life used to mean nothing to me...I wanted to throw it away. I had chosen to end my life at one point because I was tired of the pain that I lived in every day. I believed that my life had no value or worth and birthdays only served to remind me that...had I never been born, I wouldn't have had to live with the memory of so many painful experiences.
So...I just wanted to take a few minutes to share the fact that my life has been drastically changed...to the point that I am so thankful that I am still alive. Thankful that God saved me...thankful that I was born!!! God can redeem anything, even the most unfair things. He can heal the deepest wounds and make what seems like a worthless life into something amazing and wonderful. Because of what God has done in my life, I know that he is capable of all things. He can bring life where there is death, and turn the darkness to light!
I am thankful that God created me, that he saved me...and that he LOVES me!
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