I was actually in the process of having a conversation with God (I like to talk to Him out loud while I'm driving sometimes) about hearing Him, about how I really want to listen for Him and hear, clearly, what He is saying to me. I was headed to a place that I needed GPS for so I just used the map on my phone and I had it set so that it would tell me, out loud, when to turn, how far to travel, etc.
So I was just driving and talking, and I took an exit to switch from one interstate to another. My GPS didn't tell me to do this...I was just distracted and in the back of my mind I thought this was the direction I needed to go. Well... almost as soon as I took this exit - it hit me - this is the wrong way!!! But there was nothing I could do...except follow this interstate and take the first available exit, turn around and get back on the correct interstate, all the while listening to my phone tell me to turn around and go back to the route. This little detour added 7 minutes onto what was approximately a 20 minute drive. To me...that is notable because it was a pretty small detour in terms of miles, but... that's 1/3 of the original travel time. That's a long delay for such a small mistake...but then that could open up a whole other blog post...
So back to my travels...I get back on the correct path and I am having this mind blowing revelation about what just happened and how it correlates to the conversation I was having with God... at the moment it happened! I see this parallel in my mind of how this is similar to listening for God, following His lead towards point A, and then staying on that course until I reach point A...but somewhere along this course God gave new directions...I was supposed to take a left and redirect to point B...but at the beginning I heard God and He said point A...so I'm headed to point A. I heard Him, I did...He said point A...but that was to get me headed in the right direction...He was still talking to me and I missed it while I was so focused on following Him to that original destination.
This is still sort of rolling around in my mind right now; I'm seeing more and more layers of it. How this has played out in my life at times...and how I have (on occasion) been so confused thinking..."but I heard God!" and feeling like I'd made some mistake...maybe I didn't really hear God...maybe I'm crazy. But I did hear God, I just set my eye on that first destination and didn't quite hear when God course-corrected. And here's one more thing...even in my failure to hear his redirection...my heart's true desire was to follow him! I was actively trying to follow him...yet may end up feeling like I missed it altogether.
One more thing...I also want to make sure that when I am hearing God...it's really Him and not me. Because I think sometimes when I get that first set of coordinates (if only it was that set in stone lol)..and I start going...later when I go back to Him and ask if I should continue - I am so set on the direction I've been heading that when I hear "continue" its really coming from me...not from God. And then...I may end up wondering if I ever really got that from God at all...or was it me all along??
Hearing from God...and knowing that it's Him... is all about relationship. I guess it's sort of like any friendship...the more time you spend talking to a person, the more you know them. You know how, with a close friend (someone you know really well)...if someone came to you and told you they said something - but it was totally out of character for that person - you would immediately know it? I feel it's the same way with God. Now... I'm definitely still learning and growing in this...and I have lot of room for improvement, but it's something that I am trying to cultivate because it is so important to me to follow His plan for my life.
I love how God seeks to communicate with us...we only need to listen and cultivate that relationship... because that's so easy right? Part of my reason for sharing this, is that I struggle to properly care for and cultivate my relationship with God. I'll be honest, it's easy for time to fly by and I haven't opened my Bible or really dedicated any of my time to God...and I feel bad about that. I struggle with guilt over it...but I am trying to do better.
AI believe that what God wants...is my willing heart...and He has it :)
