40 weeks...

The other day I was looking at a calendar, counting the number of weeks that I have been in Tanzania and I made a discovery...  I have been here, in Tanzania, for almost 39 full weeks... and by the time I board a plane for the U.S. I will have been here for just over 41 weeks.

When I was counting and hit 40, my immediate thought was that 40 weeks is the length of pregnancy.  That felt like a huge realization to me, and I began looking at some of the things that God has been birthing in me over the past (almost) 40 weeks. 

These months have been a time of huge growth in many areas of my life.  I feel that I have grown and changed so much.  I can say, with certainty, that my relationship with God has changed deeply. 

I have grown to know him more as a father and I have had deeper revelations of his love for me.  I have had times when I felt so very far from God...times when it felt like a struggle to even talk to him...and I have had times where I have felt closer to him than ever before.

I have learned to rely on him for peace more and more.  Moving halfway across the world is...hard.  I have faced struggles and difficulties that I never expected, new (and sometimes scary) situations, uncertainty and sadness... and in all these situations he has been right here by my side.  I have found peace and comfort in stressful and uncomfortable places/situations over and over again.

I have also had so, so many times of rejoicing with God and thanking him for the amazing things that he has made possible in my life.  So many amazing experiences, learning from my kids (on a daily basis) about God's love and power. 

The list goes on... God has also healed me of some things that I didn't even realize were still buried deeply.  He has helped me to see a greater level of the joy that is possible in life...  our capacity for joy is unimaginable - maybe I could say he has increased my capacity for joy by helping me rid myself of some of the things that were taking up space.

Life is an amazing adventure...and I am so thankful!!!  God loves me... I am precious and valuable to him... he is a good father!  :)