A funny thing happened at the Kilimanjaro airport...

So I want to share my first moments in Kilimanjaro...

First of all...my flight got in an hour early...an event which is apparently unheard of :)   Second, I had every intention of asking Ryan and Stacy (my Moshi contacts) about my visa and what to do when I arrived...but...I forgot.  Third...I made this trip with $0 in cash.  :/

So...my flight lands, I'm thrilled...excited to be so close to my final destination!  I get my carry-on and make my way across the landing strip into the airport.  There are two lines “I have a visa” and “I need a visa”.  I stand there for a second trying to decide on a line.  I know Ryan was going to get a visa for me…but I don’t have it in my hand…so maybe I should go to the “I need a visa line”.  But, what if Ryan has my visa?  Where is Ryan?  Does he know the flight was early?  I find a guard and explain my situation and ask if I can go see if my friends are waiting for me.  He says no, that I need to pay $100 for my visa. 
  
Ok…that was the moment that I realized that I didn’t have any cash.  :/  (the realization was accompanied by a slight sinking feeling)   I asked if I could use my debit card and he laughed and told me no…ok…I asked if they had an ATM and he said no again.  So…what to do?   I tell him I think my friends will have the money for my visa but I need to go check to see if they are here.  He says “so you have no money?” I say no.  He asks for my passport and I show it to him.  He takes it and walks away saying “I will go ask”.  Uh oh, now I have no money and no passport.  Inside…I am starting to really feel some anxiety building up.  I am exhausted, I have no money, I have no passport, I am an hour early with no way to contact anyone for help!  I told God “I need help!”.  He told me to stay calm.  I made my way over to one of the tables, telling my spirit to be at peace and to know that God is taking care of me and providing all my needs.  I started texting…praying that someone would be awake at 7 am on a Saturday.  Kristina came through for me!!!  I explained what was going on, asked her to pray for peace and then sent her Ryan and Stacy’s phone numbers.  Then I waited…

I just kept reminding myself “God knows what I need and will provide it” and I reminded my spirit a couple of times that I had chosen peace and was refusing to allow anxiety to overwhelm me.  I kept praying, asking the Holy Spirit to help me stay in peace and to help me know that I was not alone.  By this time, thirty minutes have passed and I am the only passenger left in the airport.  Several employees have greeted me with a “Jambo” but I haven’t seen the guard who took my passport.  I am beginning to wonder if Kristina was unable to get through to Ryan or Stacy when I get a text saying Ryan is on his way and will be here in about ten minutes!  

A while later I hear someone call out my name…it’s a guard telling me someone is here for me!!!  They allow me to go get my visa money from Ryan and then we’re in business.  From there it was only a matter of about five minutes to have my passport stamped.  I was so relieved!  It didn’t take long to get everything loaded up and then we were on the road…less than an hour from finally being in Moshi!!!

I want to share this whole experience for two reasons 1) it’s funny and 2) less than a year ago I would have been in tears and completely unable to stay in a place of peace during an ordeal like this.  God has spent this last year teaching me how to choose peace, or joy, or thankfulness over the alternatives.  I think of how God has patiently walked me through lessons about controlling my emotions instead of letting them control me, and some of the revelations I have received about the negative emotions I used to be enslaved by.  

I used to have debilitating depression and anxiety.  I had to take several medications every day just to be able to function, and to keep the panic attacks at a manageable level.  The thought of being able to tell anxiety to leave me alone because I have chosen peace would have been a joke.  The story of my arrival in Kilimanjaro is funny, and I have laughed about it quite a bit, but it also brings this quiet awe into my spirit.  

God loves me so much that it wasn’t enough to just get me to a place where I didn’t need the medicine anymore.  It wasn’t enough to just get me to the place where I could know what peace and joy felt like.  He loves me so much that He invited me to walk with Him through the hard places of overcoming the anxiety to the point where I could stand in an airport in a foreign country, all alone with no money or guarantee that I would get what I needed, and say “I choose to be in peace.”  This is profound to me…His love wants to empower me, not just get me to a place of being ok.  Every time I think of the level of anxiety that was trying to overcome me during this experience…and the fact that I was able to stay in a place of peace and comfort…I am just so thankful for the transformation that God has made possible in my life.  He is so amazingly wonderful!!!